I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
