My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
