shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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