Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap

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(417): View more from Missouri

The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.

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(773): View more from Illinois

He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".

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