Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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