He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
