I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I need a burrito and a hug.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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