update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Panties = found
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