All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize