im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
