Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
