All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
