I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
