Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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