She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
