Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
