I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
