if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This baby is an asshole
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
