had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
