I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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