Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
