I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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