a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The power of my boobs compel you
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize