i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
