hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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