yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
