its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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