I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
