Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
