like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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