My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
