A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
