Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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