that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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