Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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