You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She bit a glass in half.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
