omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
