I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I need moral support for this bender
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You've changed since you got that strap on
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
