Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
