K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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