So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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