i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
