You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize