You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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