You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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