Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
