she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i believe in u and ur pee
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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