I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
