yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
