I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
