idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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