don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It's never too late to be topless.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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