If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize