I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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