Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
