I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
