i think my tv is drunk
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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