his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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