My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize