Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
