We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
