Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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