I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
40s are totally the cure
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
